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7 Amazing Ideas That Will Make Your Bikini Season 2017 Awesome (Start Now)

Bikini Season 2017 is the one time on the year to truthfully reveal how well you’ve been keeping to your gym routine and sticking to your diet. But there are some quick hacks to help you avoid an epic fail on the beach this summer. Wearing a bikini is about looking your best to net yourself the best guy possible and to put the other girls to shame and kick sand in their face! Which is a lot of fun. But this take work. So, start now.

Epic Fail

7 Amazing Ideas That Will Make Your Bikini Season 2017 Awesome (Start Now)

1. For God’s Sake Woman, Trim Your Bush for Bikini Season 2017

Bikini Season 2017 demands a neat bush

Nice and tidy

Look. If you want to look good. No, *great* in a bikini in Bikini Season 2017 you’re going to need to take real action in relation to body hair. You’re going to need to get a Hollywood Wax or failing that a Brazilian Wax – anything less than that is inexcusable for bikini season. No excuses, get it done before you set foot on a beach else ruin your entire look as you strut up and down the shore looking like Vagzilla.

I want more hair on your body” said NO MAN EVER.


2. Exfoliate

Bikini Season 2017


How do you make your skin look like the bikini models? Exfoliate. Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. Did I mention exfoliate? It’s amazing how much of a difference this actually makes. Send your 2017 bikini game TO ANOTHER LEVEL come summer by diligently starting to exfoliate now. Unless you were raised by wolves, you probably already know how to exfoliate properly. But in case you don’t: rub on your exfoliating scrub in circular motions, slowly and softly. Spend a few seconds longer on the rough patches such as the elbows and knees (if you’ve been spending too much time on your knees recently, you dirty girl you – just kidding). Repeat three times a week, you’ll thank me come Bikini Season 2017.

3. Invest in quality

Bikini Season 2017

We Love This Shit #goals

Bikinis are not like other items of clothing. They are a standalone piece which speak for themselves and say masses about your sense of style and grace. You can’t layer them. Can’t match them with tight denim. You will live or die by a small piece of cloth that scarcely covers your white bits. That’s why you must invest in luxury when it comes to bikinis, even if it forces you to buy the rest of your clothes for the year in discount ‘everything must go’ stores. Everyone will notice a saggy baggy bikini – don’t be that girl. As my grandmother used to say: “You must spend a lot of money on shoes, a good mattress and luxury bikinis!” 😉

I buy all of mine over at BikiniLuxe – quality and affordable. Check them out today.

4. Glow

Snooze You Lose

The Single Life


Fake tan is a staple of most girls’ beauty inventories. Looking ghostly pale on the beach is not a good look. Make sure therefore you invest in some moisturising fake tan lotion. I make sure my face in particular with this stuff. I dust this stuff anywhere the sun would hit my face. Take your time and spend money on a proper product, if you end up with streaks or are the wrong shade of orange, other girls will point and laugh. Men probably won’t notice but no one wants to have sex with an Oompa Loompa now do they?

For an authentic look you should try standing up tanning beds, they are far superior to the lying down ones.

5. Time is of the essence

Bikini Season 2017 waits for no (wo)man

Tick tock – get moving

Be honest. How many times has summer rolled around and you think to yourself:

“Yikes, I am sooo not ready for bikini season”

Sound familiar?

Why do you think that happens? It’s a lack of planning. The key to looking good on the beach in August is to start in February. All across the land, women are giving up on their new year’s resolution to ‘get in shape’, ‘get toned abs’, ‘get a great butt’. You, on the other hand, will fight against temptation and be kicking sand in these other girls faces on vacation. Start now while people are giving up the diet and leaving the gym in droves. If you want help and advice on how to get in shape read these great posts by me sharing just some of my secrets:

Cross Fit Sucks
Kratom – the Ultimate Shortcut for Female Weight Loss?
Fitmiss Protein Review

6. Bring your A-Game on Instagram

The Camera Never Lies

Guys that you are interested in will check you out on Insta. Girls will look for any opportunity to claw you down. The fact is that your bikini will be seen not only by beach revellers but, for the large part, by your Instagram following. There are even cool, easy to use tools available online now that let you trim and tuck your shape so that you look picture perfect on the beach.

How to look good on instagram (scroll down).

7. Body Acne

This is one of the reasons you must start this process now. Acne can take a long time to heal so make sure you take action fast. If you have serious acne, go and see a doctor who should be able to prescribe you with an antibiotic that will clear up your problem once and for all. For moderate acne the magic ingredient is salicylic acid, make sure your scrub has that in and adopt a proper skincare regime if you don’t already have one!

See you on the beach! Leave questions below.


psst…I get all of my killer bikinis at BikiniLuxe